She smart, pretty, and she’s looking at you—watch out though, that girl might be dangerous! As of 2016, there are approximately 10 million single moms in the United States—with 57% of millennial moms being single. As a millennial man, you must get straight to the point, and find out if she’s a package deal. If you have not yet dated a divorced or single woman, then you may not be prepared for the challenges you are sure to face. Even if you don’t mind that she’s a mom, you must be informed before making a commitment. It’s not common for Alpha males to step into another man’s shoes, as you prefer to fill your own shoes. Even if her baby daddy is still in the picture, dating a woman who has full custody—means you will take on the role as the primary male role model. This is easier said than done, and quite frankly not your responsibility.
You’ve Got Enough On Your Plate
As a recent college graduate, you still have your whole life ahead of you. Why complicate things more, by taking on the responsibility of someone else’s children? This goes beyond your commitment in time, but also the financial responsibility of raising kids. Even if there’s a few hundred in child support coming in each month, it is rarely enough to cover more than their food. You’ve got enough student debt to manage (and maybe your own baby mama) without the added worry of some deadbeat kids.
Your Financial Commitment Might Be Lifelong
The kids aren’t yours, so if your relationship doesn’t work out, you’ll move on with your life. Right? Think again! What most men don’t realize, is that if you make a commitment to father and financially support another man’s children, equitable estopple may apply. This means that your ex-girlfriend may take you to court, and you could be ordered to pay child support until they come of age. I know, you think she’s the one, but which head are you thinking with? Probably the same one her baby daddy was thinking with too.
Let me ask you something: why in the world would you enter into a relationship where you are required to have an ongoing relationship with your girl’s ex? You wouldn’t—but you will if you date a single mom. If custody is shared, there will be the inevitable meeting of the ex, which more often than not is an ongoing source of drama. He could play the kids against you, no show for his visitation days, fail to pay child support, or simply doesn’t want another man around his kids. He might even still want his ex back. If you’re the son of a single mom, you may have experienced some of this firsthand.
Relationships can be challenging enough without adding another man’s kids to the picture. For that matter, without adding your own kids to the picture! At the very least, make sure you understand exactly what to expect—and don’t rush a commitment with a single mom.
For more information on this subject matter check out Frustrated 2
— Al Greeze